He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
