i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
