Define "chronic" masturbator.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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