remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
