also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish you could order shots online.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
