Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
