Me too!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
