marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
