ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
