Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
birth control should be required to get into college
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
