Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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