p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
