ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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