we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
