i barfeds in our rink
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
