never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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