"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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