my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize