$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
