got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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