this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
