D3 body, D1 cock
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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