My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
