She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
