I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
