I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
