I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize