About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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