i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
