you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
