You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
