Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
