Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
