What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
