i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Come on in and take your pants off
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