meet me or not, i'm out of control
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
