So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The air was thick with penises
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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