im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
