There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
