STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
