my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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