Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
