Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
did you just send me my own nude
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
