I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dignity is for republicans.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
