that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize