I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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