Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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