She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
