I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please, let me fuck your mom
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
