You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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