A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
