my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
