Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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