i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
