Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
