My hand turned me down
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
