Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Randomize
