i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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