So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
