He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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