then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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