Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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