Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
