He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
