it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
