is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
