Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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