I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
