puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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