The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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