Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
