somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The Olympian is in my bed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
