i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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