im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
