well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So much rum. So many feels.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize