she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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